As almost everyone knows, drunk people are just more fun to be around then sober sailors. There super friendly, more generous, and laugh at even your dumbest jokes that your friends would kick your ass for telling... if they still wanted to be seen around you. This rule holds true when lyfting. Last Saturday night, I was in the city driving. Around 8:30, I get a ping to pick up some guy from a dive bar in Olde City. I pick him up, and as soon as he gets in, I can tell it would take him almost a full day to pass a breathalyzer test. Hes gone. He enthusiastically slaps my shoulder and greets me with a "heeeeey MAN". He needed a ride back to his house, a 5 minute ride. We joked around until we got to his door, which is where things got interesting. He told me that he was going in his house to "pregame" with a couple girls, and asked if he could call me when they were ready to go out. Instead of asking him what the point of going to the bar was if he was pre gaming now, I gave him my number and said "yea man. yea thats cool." I drove off into the night, not expecting to hear from him again as I assumed he would be passed out on the couch within 5 minutes.
About 45 minutes later though, I get a call. "YO COME BY THE SPOT. WE READY." Alright, I ready too then. I pick up this drunken fool, who surprisingly comes out with two bombshells. He sits in the front seat, and greets me like an old friend, probably in an attempt to seem cool to these two girls who are way out of his league. No amount of social proof was going to save him from his own drunken stupor though. He wanted to be taken to Morgans Pier, which was about 7 minutes from his house. The girls were having a good time talking in the back seat, interrupted every so often by the drunk fool, who would lean back and say something insightful like "sooo we gonna have a good time tonight?" or "you NEED to be drunk like me". Every time he did this, he would put his seat back upright and smile as if what he said was the smoothest line ever devised by a guy trying to get it on, when in reality the girls either laughed at how he slurred all his words, or completely ignored him... they were clearly there for the free ride and free drinks he was clearly going to provide them, as he was unlikely to provide any other value in his state.
So we get to Morgans Pier in about 6 minutes flat- I was determined to get there before this guy decided he wanted to yack some of the nights intake up. The ride cost $5 overall. The guy pulls out a $20 and asks if I had any change. I apologized and said that I only had a couple dollars- he responded "don't worry about it bro! I'm sure we'll see each other again! just take it!". I look forward to it, my friend.
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